Validation

I once read that a young man needs two things, a father’s expression of love and a father’s validation. When these things are missing, a young man grows with a hole in his heart and a constant striving for validation in all the wrong places. In a world where a father’s presence is frequently missing, there should be no surprise in the maladies facing men as they grow older.

I was one of those young men. My father was always there physically, but emotionally he was distant. That is until his emotions erupted and those in his family were the targets of his frustrations and anger. I never heard the words that a young man hungers for; I love you and I am proud of you. As you progress through life, your heart loses its capacity to trust, and you seek validation from your job and others. Consequently, your identity is illusive because others hold the key.

As a man in his later stages of life, it is difficult to rake the coals searching for that ember to spark a new fire. The validation you seek does not lie in the words and actions of others. It exists deep inside your heart and soul, only to be excavated and polished. This search is not for the faint of heart. It requires strength and the conviction to brave the ghosts of the past, which wait in the weeds to redirect your every move. It is a solemn journey that is frequently lonely and emotional. But it is a worthy journey, a journey of the warrior.