Puppet and its Strings

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Have you ever thought about how much your personal identity is defined by what you do as a profession or job? Seriously, have you ever honestly given any thought to this? If you are like so many of us, the honest answer is “not really”. This raises a critical question; what happens if you lose your job and you quickly discover that the market has rudely redefined your value? What if you suddenly realize that the doors are permanently shut and you have to find a new place in the market, most likely at an extreme discount and diminished prestige and power? An existential crisis is sure to follow. Hold on for a rough ride.

I recently read Gail Sheehy’s account of her conversations with Barry Diller who was suffering from such an experience. Yes, the Barry Diller, media mogul, brash, powerful and highly successful. How could he understand what us mere mortals go through? You know what they say; the higher you are the farther you fall. As explained by Sheehy, Diller quickly discovered that the media empire he ran, Fox TV, he really didn’t run. In one fateful meeting, Fox TV’s owner Rupert Murdoch coldly reminded Diller that there was only one principal of the company, and it wasn’t Diller. Unable to deal with this crushing blow, Diller walked away from his empire at the age of 50. Now what?

We all need to understand the likelihood of such an experience and prepare ourselves in advance so that we either are on the frontend of our professional lifecycle, or we are able to quickly reposition ourselves for new opportunities. In Diller’s case, he ultimately realized that his accomplishments did not define him; rather it was his ability to accomplish and the quality of being afraid or not being afraid. As Sheehy argues, “self” is more than what you do for a living. Sheehy recounts Diller’s comment, “it’s the sense that you are entitled to your own opinions and beliefs and that you are entitled to act on them. It has nothing to do with other people’s opinions. If you don’t have self, you may get some sharp applause, but you come home and close the door, and then what.”

Friends, stop looking to others to affirm your value in this world. Take a hard look at yourself in the mirror, understand what makes you unique and valuable, and then go forward with bravery and unapologetic conviction in face of the disbelievers and haters you will inevitably encounter. Cut the strings that define the when, what and how of your life and boldly walk your own path. This is what I constantly think about. Now I just need to act. How about you? Are you going to remain a puppet, or will you be the maestro of your own life?

#Self