The Light
- S. A. Gibbs
- Jul 30, 2017
- 3 min read
It finally happened! The light went on and I discovered what I want to do in my next phase of life, both professionally and personally. No, I didn’t just read one of those “get-rich-quick”, or “how to make millions working a few hours a week” email blasts. My revelation came from a three-year, self-discovery journey that included intensive reading, on-line wandering, and an objective conversation with the mirror. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. A future path has opened and I’m chomping at the bit to begin.
No, I’m not going to divulge at this time what my revelation was. There will be a time for that. What I want to share are the lessons I learned in this process. The first lesson I learned was that without a deep dive into what makes me tick, my efforts to define a career and life path are tantamount to grabbing at air. We all have a personality make-up that has been constructed over decades of socialization and cultural programming. Our make-up has both a functional and dysfunctional side. The key for me was to understand who I really was and what drives me, both from positive and negative perspectives. This is a revelation that will enable me to make better decisions going forward, and to effectively navigate the highs and lows that wait around every bend in the road. For the record, my process of self-discovery is not over, and I’m not sure it ever will be. Nevertheless, I am in a better position today than I have ever been in my life.
My second revelation was that my professional planning couldn’t be detached from my lifestyle planning. The “live to work” option just doesn’t work for me; I want to “work to live”. My self-discovery included investigating what it was about my lifestyle I didn’t like. From that discovery, I was able to begin the process of defining what kind of lifestyle would inspire me, and liberate me. Understanding my lifestyle parameters positioned me to better assess professional options as they surfaced.
The third revelation from my three-year journey was that without courage, I might as well quit now. Change is scary for most of us. We don’t like the unknowns and most of us strive for security and predictability. We wrap ourselves with the expectations of others and whistle while we work as if we truly believe the crap were told. How’s that working for you? For me, the risk was not purely economic; it was much deeper than that. There was the risk of what impacts my decisions would have on my family. I care deeply about my family; however, my process of personal and professional transformation is fundamental to my happiness. I have now begun the process of communicating what I have decided to those closest to me, and how I plan to proceed. I must hold on tightly to my convictions and not waiver if the feedback is negative. The strategy must be inclusive of others, but not deviate from the fundamentals of the next stage of my journey. To compromise these fundamentals would reduce me to one of the many who are sleepwalking through life, angry, unhappy and waiting for death. I will not be one of them!
So to my friends, I hope my thoughts have some value to you. I’m not saying that my steps should be yours. We are all different and must design a life that uniquely speaks to each and every one of us. What I am saying is, don’t wait for permission. Don’t wait for someone or something to give you the answer. Start doing the hard work of self-discovery. Be patient, but work hard because the path is not straight and the obstacles are many. Believe in yourself and remember most people don’t really care what you say or do. Therefore, stop caring what others say and start listening to yourself. Happy travels!
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