Keep Your Quip
- S. A. Gibbs
- Jan 7, 2017
- 2 min read
I frequently hear the quip, “he’s going through a midlife crisis.” Why is it that so many people make this their default assessment when a man in his second phase of life decides to do something out of the ordinary? We don’t rush to the same judgment when a recently graduated Millennial decides to take a year or two off to backpack across Europe before entering the workforce. Actually, I hear comments that laud such decisions, evidence that the younger generation have different values and an unwillingness to sell their souls to the “Man”, or become slaves to the mighty dollar. So what makes their decision so laudable while the older gents’ unconventional actions get attributed to the fear of dying, or simply getting older?
Let me clarify, I’m not referring to decisions that are clearly questionable, like coloring your hair, hanging out at the piano bar, or leaving your wife for a woman three decades your junior; these decisions typically run in tandem though. I’m talking about decisions that reflect a man’s intent to grow in different directions, intellectually, spiritually and emotionally. I recall a story told to me by a friend whose father-in-law, upon his retirement, purchased a Harley and road across the country. He had no experience on a motorcycle but chose this adventure to spread his wings, and yes, grow. I can hear the barbs now; he’s foolish, selfish. What if a truck hits him? Blah! Blah! Blah! What if he smiles and creates memories that he’ll carry with him to the grave. What if he returns with a clear mind and aspirations for another adventure, maybe even starting a new business? What if?
The next time a man in his second phase of life starts talking freely about his dreams, do him a favor, listen and encourage, don’t judge. The old guy is demonstrating the ultimate quality of being a human, proceeding with eyes open and a heart racing. Damn, isn’t that what life is all about? Isn’t that what friends are for? Trying pumping your fist before you roll your eyes.
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