Deflection
- S. A. Gibbs
- Nov 13, 2016
- 2 min read
Several years ago, my younger son went through a very difficult period marked by poor decisions and explosive anger. The details of this period are not as important as how he chose to deal with the consequences of his actions. You see, my son’s troubles were the consequence of the actions of others, or so he believed. For my son, he projected his troubles onto his parents, especially me, the college from which we pulled him from due to poor grades, various high school friends that made fun of him for being too thin, and an a sundry of other culprits. I am pleased to announce that things have settled down and he is making good progress, although he still carries a chip on his shoulder at times.
I am concerned by what I see, a society where so many blame others for their difficulties and unhappiness. Like my son, we project our troubles onto others in far away places, to people who are different than us, to politicians we elect to lead us. For reasons that I cannot explain, we seem to have given up ownership, and responsibility, over our own lives. Now I am not dismissing the possibility that the decisions of others can impose negative consequences on us. Of course they can! But in the end, how we choose to deal with life’s difficulties and disappointments are entirely under our own individual control. At least for me, this belief is very empowering.
The happiness of a family, community and nation is the product of the behaviors of each and every one of its members or citizens. How we chose to treat others defines our potentials as both individuals and as a society. Imagine how great this world would be if every one of us committed ourselves to commit at least one act of random kindness every day. Better yet, commit that act of kindness to someone who is different than us, whether that is because of ethnicity, sexual orientation, or political beliefs. Imagine how great this world would be if we looked into the mirror and believed in our incredible potential as a human being, parent, friend and lover. Sorry John Lennon, I’m not trying to steal your phrasing.
From my vantage point, who sits in the Oval Office is far less important than how we all talk and behave as people. We need a lot less deflection and a whole lot more reflection. Who do you really see when you look in the mirror? Be honest; don’t filter your sight with hatred, ugliness, indictment, bias and political dogma. Most importantly, smile knowing that you are in total control of your actions going forward. Go forward in peace and love friend. I wish you only the best.
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