Naked to the World

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The early stages of a man’s journey in his second adulthood can be downright scary. For me, it began with a nagging angst, the feeling of being off balance, not content with my life. I could have dismissed these feelings as being signs of a simple midlife crisis including the fear of getting older, losing my virility, not advancing in my career, and the black dog of death lurking on the edge of the forest. But for me it wasn’t that simple. Something deeper was poking me. An honest self-inquiry made me realize that I really didn’t know myself; I felt hollow and totally uninspired. Although some can respond to these feelings by purchasing a sexy car or chasing younger women, I chose to dig deeper in an attempt to figure it out. So my journey began.

Making a conscious decision to explore the meaning of your life is the first step in your journey. To use the metaphor presented by Angeles Arrien in her book The Second Half of Life, you stand on the threshold of a shining silver gate, faced with a fundamental decision. Do I turn around in fear and grasp onto those things that I know, or do I cross the threshold willing to face the fear of the unknown? Maintaining my grasp on my life, as I knew it, was not an acceptable option. Unless I made the commitment to reassess my life, I would fail in finding the “thing” that could inspire me through the remaining days on this earth.

Now that I have made the decision to walk this path, I am confronted with the challenge of shedding all the pretenses, false facades that have been constructed over the past 61 years. They are false facades because they were constructed in response to what “others” expected. They may have served me adequately in my first adult life; however, they are inadequate to serve me in my second. My growth cannot be solely judged by external, objective accomplishments. The growth I now seek is internal, my genius, the natural ability that has been imbedded in my soul. To seek this is where happiness and contentment reside. This means I have to accept the thought of being naked to the world, to be exposed to the criticisms, pushbacks, and opinions of others. For the first time in my life, I won’t be listening. The listening I’ll be doing is internally focused.

#Genius #fear