Insecurities

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I just finished reading Neil Strauss’ book, The Game. OK, don’t hate. I know the topic matter is not politically correct, a group of young men learning to be pick-up artists (PUAs). But as with Strauss’ other book Emergency, The Game is very enlightening in the area of human needs and motivations.

In a conversation between Strauss, aka Style and one of the founders of the PUA movement, the argument is made that we all have insecurities and strive for acceptance. For the aspiring PUAs, they desire to be accepted by women and therefore need to learn the right tactics to create an air of confidence, and ambivalence. In the end, although notches were made in belts, the PUAs were still the same deep down inside, insecure little boys who have reduced human interaction and attraction to a bag of tricks. They were not better versions of themselves; they were neurotic and numb to the feelings of connection and joy.

Strauss argues we are all searching outside ourselves for missing pieces, and we’re all looking in the wrong direction. Instead of finding ourselves, we’ve lost our sense of self. The answers are to be found within. I couldn’t agree more. I too feel the insecurities and the nagging need to be accepted and even admired by others. Do you feel this too? Although acceptance is not a bad goal in itself, it’s only a good goal when it’s to be accepted for who we are as unique beings. If we are to be successful in charting a happy and profitable course in our second adult life, we have to look within and be willing to ignore the external voices. External voices are not the arbiters of our validity, our hearts are. Godspeed fellow boomers.

#Insecurities